PostHeaderIcon DINA SPEAKS! Dina Martina Returns to Portland


DINA-TAINT-MENT: In a 2001 Willamette Week column I described Dina Martina like this:

"You could describe the Divine Miss M. as a little bit camel toe and a little bit shlong-and-roll. She's the lounge-act equivalent of Baby Jane. Arty types might even go as far to say she's an American version of the late Euro clown Leigh Bowery. What/whoever she is, one thing's for sure: Over the past decade, Miss Dina's become the toast of Seattle's hipsterati."

Now that article was over a decade ago, but my description still fits this lovely lady—except her audience got much, much bigger. Since the early aughts Dina Martina has gone on to become the toast of Los Angeles, London and more specifically Provincetown, where as a performer, she practically owns P-town.

Well, now I am thrilled to announce that Dina, the hostess with the moistness, is coming back to the Northwest for just one night, her first show in our P-town since 2004.

Don't know who Dina is? Well, according to what her alter-ego, Grady West, told me years ago in that same article, Dina was "born in the Appalachian Mountains, then moved with her mother to Las Vegas. It was here that Dina learned to be an entertainer like her inspirations, Anne Miller and Loretta Lynne. And just like her mama, Dina's a single parent, too: She's adopted a doll-puppet daughter named Phoebe (pronounced fo-eh-bee)."

Dina loves to give away jifts, which are door prizes and not to be confused with memes or anything you might find on your favorite porn site.  You just might get one—if you are lucky!—at her upcoming show at The Fez Ballroom. Before she plops down in Portland I had a chance to ask a few questions of the one and only Dina and here is what she had to say:


It's been a VERY long time since you've been to Portland. What have you been up to over the last few years?
Chillain like a villain.  Seriously, for the most part I've just been hanging tough, coasting on my street cred, but I've also been promoting my just-released, soon-to-be-finished album, Dina Martina - A Dour Palette.  And since I'm a classically-trained gymnast, I've been working on my dismount.  And I'm marketing my own line of signature fragrances inspired by dairy farms and tide pools.  And last week I joined the class-action lawsuit against the makers of that mesh patch.  It's an exciting time.

What is on Dina's mind today? What is Dina thinking about?
I've been thinking a lot about how weird skin is; I mean, it's basically upholstery without seams, you know?  And I've been thinking about that bright light/white shirt/duct tape-on-the-mouth "NO D8" photo campaign. And then, of course, Sally Struthers springs to mind.  Well I guess she doesn't really "spring" to mind; she's a little more sluggish than that.  She lumbers to mind.  And I've also been thinking about when Jaime Sommers' body rejected her bionics.  Man, that was hard.  And, like everyone else, I've also been thinking about the new Val-Pak coupons.

You used to spend a lot of time in that other PTown (Portland) and the STown (Seattle). What do you miss most about the Northwest?
Well, I do love your moist region.

Portlanders are so excited that you are coming to town. What should they be excited about?
Well I don't want to give too much away, but they should definitely be excited about the dancing monkeys, live fireworks displays, white carriages under the stars, shivering girls in short skirts and high heels, live violin dubstep routines, thrice-baked potatoes, Judith Light, corn on the cob and an elevator that only goes down. Exclusively on Byron Beck! How to start your own online casino and get rich? Its simple! Just purchase online casino software by (includes over 100 FullHD games and management tools) and get your money right now! Get demo access at

Ooooh...I love Judith Light.

DETAILS: Dina Martina will  appear at the Fez Ballroom, 316 SW 11th (at Burnside), Thursday, October 17 for two shows (7 & 9 pm). This is a 21+ event. Tickets for the 7 pm show are $20 general admission and $50 for a VIP ticket, which includes a hosted pre-show meet and greet with Dina and reserved seating. VIP proceeds benefit the Equity Foundation. Tickets for the 9 pm show are $20 general admission. Tickets are on sale at or by calling 1-800-838-3006.

Last Updated (Tuesday, 05 July 2016 08:02)

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